Blog Post #3

Diary of a working mother

Yana is three and a half feet full of seriousness, steadiness and silence. Her overseer would describe her as a good worker unlike many other children she does not cry or ask for mommy. She works as steady and well as many adult workers. I am her mom. I can say that too, she works as much as I do and as well if not better than I do. We work at the Loudon Hosiery Mill together – we are knitters. Most of the day we stay on our feet, me bending over the machines and her barely reaching it on her little wooden stoop. When we just arrived to Tennessee (which was less than a year ago), she had to learn how to balance herself on two of those just barely rising over machines only in order to bend herself over it. I was so scared she would fall. I kept looking at her during work, so that overseer without a warning moved me to work to another end of factory. I was devastated that I will not be able to help my little baby. It took me another six months and a bribe to overseer to move back closer to my daughter.

She is only nine now, but her brown hair keeps growing past her knees. I cut them shorter to make it easier for her to move around but not too short. I like braiding her hair in the morning because it is the only time when I feel like a good mother. I wish I could do it all day. During that time, she behaves like a child. She talks to me about her dreams from last night, asks for extra sugar in tea and smiles. Yana is very smart girl. I wish sometimes that she would not be that smart. It will be hard for her in the future, if she is smart. She looks at me with her big brown eyes and says everything straight forward without trying to hide the truth. It makes me angry. I would prefer her to select what she says but her brown eyes are too truthful for that.

I made her a brown dress to match her beautiful eyes. It is simple but she kept asking me to make it shorter. I wonder what she had in her mind. She is too serious to ask for short dress just because she wants it. She had something on mind that she did not want to share. I think I know, she wanted to move freely instead drugging the dress behind. It looks very pretty with white collar that she wears on holidays. I am making a new one since she is growing fast. I still have the same brown fabric that I made this dress from. This time I will teach her how to make it herself. She is a girl – she needs to know how to make things.

It has been just a few years since we moved from Poland to the United States.  I dreamt of big beautiful house and dinners with meat and wine. I dreamt of many pretty dresses for Yana and myself. I dreamt of big garden with flowers that fill the air with colors and sweet smells. Instead, I wake up in the mornings to get her up and ready for work. "Good morning, mama!", she says brightly at me. My little baby washes her face and gets ready for work. I, too, am ready for work. I have my hair in a bundle so it is not on my way. I am already wearing my white and yellow striped dress. A bit of tea before work for both of us. She is so sweet my little girl as always asking for more sugar in her tea. It is my favorite time of the day – my morning routine – the time where I sit down and braid her of my daughter. The time when I feel like a mother.